We continue to reflect on the passage from the Sermon on the Mount in today’s Gospel reading. Last Sunday we listened as Jesus said, “You are the salt of the earth” and “the light of the world,” and we reflected on that call. This Sunday we hear Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness in the Sermon on the Mount.
Jesus said it very plainly:
“For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14–15).
One of the most powerful images of forgiveness that appeared on the front page of many newspapers was that of Pope John Paul II sitting in prison with his would-be assassin, Mehmet Ali Ağca, and forgiving him.
Another example is this:
In October 2006, the 28-year-old son of Terri Roberts walked into an Amish school in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and shot ten young girls, killing five of them before taking his own life. Mr. and Mrs. Roberts wanted to move away, thinking the Amish would not be able to bear the sight of them. Instead, members of the Amish community came to their home that very night to tell them they wanted them to stay. Some of the parents of the victims even came to the funeral of Mrs. Roberts’ son. The father and mother who lost two daughters in the shooting were among the first to greet the parents of their children’s killer. In the years that followed, Mrs. Roberts spent countless Thursdays caring for one of the most seriously wounded surviving students.
This horrific tragedy itself was, in part, the result of unforgiveness. The killer had never forgiven God for the loss of his first child, a daughter who died shortly after childbirth. In his pain, he chose a path of revenge and violence.
Trauma not transformed is transmitted. But forgiveness transforms trauma. Forgive others. Forgive yourself.
A wise priest once said, “We are only as free as our ability to forgive.” This statement contains a profound biblical truth.
We are only as free as our ability to forgive. The Greek word aphesis, meaning “to forgive,” also means “to release,” “to set free,” or “to dismiss.” When we forgive, we free both ourselves and the other person. When we are unable to forgive, we carry a heavy burden—revenge, anger, and hatred—that weighs us down throughout life.
It is important to understand what forgiveness really means. In some ways, it is easier to say what forgiveness is not. Let me clarify a few common misconceptions. Forgiveness does not mean: approving of what someone else did.
It does not mean pretending that evil never took place.
It does not mean making excuses for other people’s bad behavior.
It does not mean overlooking abuse.
It does not mean denying that others tried to hurt you repeatedly.
It does not mean letting others walk all over you.
It does not mean forgetting the wrong that was done.
It does not mean pretending that you were never hurt.
Lewis Smedes, the renowned author of the Forgive and Forget, suggests that the process of forgiveness involves several stages.
First, we rediscover the humanity of the person who hurt us. That simply means that without diminishing their sin, we admit that they are sinners just like we are sinners.
Second, we surrender our right to get even. This is hard because it is natural to want someone else to pay for all the pain they caused us. But in the end, we must leave all judgment in the hands of a just and merciful God.
Third, we revise our feelings toward the other person. This means giving up our hatred and letting go of our bitterness. Ultimately, it means taking Jesus seriously when he said, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44 NKJV).
As we gather around this altar, we are reminded that we ourselves stand in need of God’s mercy. Each time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Today, let us make that prayer real. Let us ask the Lord for the grace to release the hurts we carry, to lay down anger and resentment, and to allow His healing love to enter our hearts.
Forgiveness is not easy, but it is the path to freedom, the path to peace, and the path that makes us more like Christ. This week, let us ask ourselves: Whom do I need to forgive? Where is God inviting me to be set free? May we have the courage to forgive, the humility to seek forgiveness, and the faith to trust that God can transform every wound into grace. Amen.